let's get a move on...

The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.

-- Wendell Berry

I've been struggling with some emotional baggage for the past month or so. Time is the best cure-all for heart break. A method I tend to use is to visualize the person at their worst. I know it may seem crude and mean, but it really does work to an extent. This weekend, I did something I'm not so proud of, which shall not be stated (yes let your mind wonder). I put myself at risk of more emotional stress but I took a chance because I needed to be certain of what I was feeling. The results were mixed. However now I feel more in control of my emotions than ever because I heard what I needed to hear and I felt what I needed to feel to know that he is a thing of the past. The past defines us, and as much as we want to run away from what has happened, we learn from the good and bad. I added something to my past by revisiting it, and walked away with some very positive emotions laced with a tinge of guilt that I see as being worthwhile.

I'm sorry I'm being vague, but what I'm trying to say is that you can always learn from your past, improve yourself, and move on.


I'm listening to: Someday My Prince Will Come - Dave Brubeck

busy yet rewarding

Just a bit less than a month left of work left. My boss left for her two-week vacation today to Hong Kong and with this application deadline next Monday, my phone was ringing a lot more than usual and my emails grew and grew. I worked 9 hours today. I've had longer days than that when I was at Kitchener because I helped out at public meetings. Those days were more like 12 hour days.
But today was especially busy...I just kept going and going. Not sure how my boss does it, but I know I don't want to be super attached to my career in the future. Many people seem to be defined by their careers, and I can see that happening now. Because more and more people are studying things they're interested in, their interests become their careers. It's great to be working on things you're interested in, but I need a line to be drawn somewhere! I feel like doing all this work is really worth it. I'm put in a situation where I'm sort of on my own and it feels nice to be in control of things. Yes, I like to be in control.

Despite all the tiredness, on my walk home, I encountered a cute little boy on Yonge Street. He was with his mother and younger brother and he turned to the officer and said, "Mr. Policeman, I have my guns too!" The police officer replied, "Ohh I'd better not see you with them!" The little boy seemed embarrassed and said, "OK. I promise".

It was an endearing moment. I wonder if the little boy will remember this moment in his life.

Ok, going to grab some yummy Thai food with Sherry before we get ready for a night out! I wish it were warmer!

a fashion post for lucy

Lucy asked me to post some photos of the recent purchases I made. That's what happens when you live downtown...passing Eaton Centre everyday walking to and from, and several great shops in the underground PATH as well (I have a Winner's in my building!). I am CONSTANTLY surrounded by temptation and marketing.
My style lately has been influenced by the well-dressed workers of the financial district. The men all look polished in suits. I've seen some more fashion-forward suits - slim-fitting, skinny ties, and tapered legs. The women are mostly all in heels of various heights with very professional outfits. Many of these professional outfits do lack a bit on the "creative" side. The looks are classic, clean, and timeless. I've always been a fan of fashions and styles that last. Hence, my wardrobe usually consist of colours such as blacks, greys, whites (ok not a colour), browns, and more recently, purples!


Club Monaco blazer | Forever 21 shirt (not recent) | Gap jeans | Zara booties
(I'm trying to be a humorous model!)

Blouse from Anthropologie | Black racerback tank from Dynamite (10 bucks!) | Leggings from Net in Taiwan | Zara purple booties


Left: H&M Dress | Nine West heels ~~ Right: Jacob silk blouse | Kenneth Cole jacket | Skirt from Winner's | Nine West heeled boots

I have to say I love the stuff at Jacob. That store really has a lot of pieces I would love to wear to work. Some of the things are a bit plainer, but I'm not really one for fancy embellished things. Silk and satin = love

Special thanks to Tiff for taking the pictures!

Club Monaco sweater | Zara boots

I'm not allowed to shop anymore.

beauty in the eye of the beholder

There aren't too many occasions on which my breath is taken away.
Only in circumstances when my heart and soul is moved beyond a threshold unquantifiable or indescribable. My heart and soul is likely to be moved by things I find beautiful. These "things" are often not material objects. I can look up at the sky, and wholly adore the pink streaks of cloud off in the horizon, or the thin stream of sunlight peaking through the grey swirl of clouds. I don't need a photo to justify what I feel. It's the sense of awe (in a calming way), to feel the nature's beauty.

When I went to see The Nightingale and other Short Fables, presented by the Canadian Opera Company at the Four Seasons Centre, I was utterly beguiled by the beautiful voices. I enjoy opera, but not all opera. Some I find too shrill or too forceful. In The Nightingale, the voices were sublime. The beautiful voices mixed with the stunning set design made me want to weep. Again, a moment that couldn't be captured by a photo (literally, photos weren't allowed anyway).

What prompted me to write this entry is a song from Peter Jackson's 2005 King Kong Soundtrack, with music composed by James Newton Howard. The song, Beautiful, captures the essence of the relationship between King Kong and Ann. Every time I watch the movie, I shed tears...many tears. Although seemingly unrealistic, a giant "beast", carries a tough exterior but a soft, fuzzy, and sometimes vulnerable personality. Ann brought out the best in King Kong, but also the worst. The line said by Jack Black in the end, "No, the beauty killed the beast", is probably one of my favourite movie quotes. The soundtrack composed by James Newton Howard goes so well with the movie. Every time I hear Beautiful, my eyes well up, and I lose my breath.

I live for moments like this. I hope artists find reactions such as mine rewarding. Be it music, paintings, structures, words...I am moved.

The mind works like this...

Deep within the corners of my mind
I keep a memory of your face
And I only pull it out when I long for your embrace

Deep within the corners of my mind
I’m haunted by your smile
As it promises me joys like a journey to a tropic isle
It’s not hard to see what you do to me
It’s like a page right out of fist time wave
Though I try to fight all the word you write
Leave me standing in the starry robe in some tragic lover's place

But deep within the corners of my mind
I’m praying secretly that eventually in time
There’ll be a place for you and me

That eventually in time
There’ll be a place for you and me