Merry Belated Christmas

I've moved back home and there is no snow but a lot of rain. :(  It hasn't quite sunk in that I won't be going back to school next week! I do miss my independent lifestyle (a.k.a. do whatever I want) under the watchful eye of my mother. It's still rather nice to be in one place for a while without having the troubles of moving. My sojourn is over...and I wish to start another soon. Fingers crossed.

Moments

There are moments you wish would just pass by.
Moments you wish would slow down and stop.
Moments you wish you could relive.

I'm at a bittersweet moment. Should I stay or should I go? I want time to slow down, but I want to finish what I started.

Come December...life will be different. Not sure I'm ready for that Moment.
I've been through that Moment, and I'll have to go through it again.
This time, it feels a lot more intimidating.

I'll know when the time comes.

On hold

I'm usually not this happy to study. 

Enjoy this awesome cover in the meantime. I've listened to it at least a dozen times! 

à l’aise

It's been quite a stressful summer. Thus, I'm glad to be finishing off summer in Vancouver. Everytime I'm back, I see the City in a different light. My experiences away from home always bring me back to the same conclusion - there's no place like Vancouver. I'm always appreciative of this City - be it rain or shine, the City is always green, and I will never tire of looking north at the Coast Mountains. On the plane from Toronto to Vancouver, I sat next to a guy from Brampton who goes to Uvic for mechanical engineering. He kept asking, "Why on earth would you leave Vancouver to go to Ontario?" I laughed it off and thought to myself, if I haven't left, I wouldn't appreciate Vancouver as much as I do now.

Although I have a ton of work and studying to do in my last few days in Vancouver, just being out and about brings an indescribable inner peace. Though my personal goals may not bring me back to Vancouver permanently, I am appreciative and fortunate to call this City home.

Pictures to come.

Fury

Erosion at work - US side

At the botanical gardens - perhaps one of my favourite parts of the trip

"Mistfying" - Canadian side 

Tourist Rosa

I had a lovely time at Niagara Falls with my cousin and K. It's been at least 14 years since I last visited the Falls and I have very little recollection of what I did and saw there.
As a result of my trip, I was further tanned (too dark at this point), had sore feet, and ate too much (after Korean BBQ back in Toronto). Nature is really so overwhelming. It's such a shame that Niagara Falls has evolved past the nature component into a cliche tourist destination. It saddens me to see silly museums, casinos, and flashy signs right next to such a marvel of nature. I don't expect myself to return to Niagara Falls anytime soon. I do want to see Niagara-on-the-Lake and some of the more independent wineries in the region though.

The subtext of this post...I wish my roommate to be subject to the fury of the falls, among other things...

I need change

I haven't been feeling 100% lately. As much as I'm trying to enjoy summer in Toronto, I miss Vancouver and the lifestyle I once had. I just need to find a place where I can have that balance. There doesn't seem to be anything for me here anymore. I'm sick of the routine. I miss the milder temperatures. I miss home.

simple life

There is so much beauty in simplicity. Too often our lives are entangled in planning details and thinking about the future. Too often our lives are governed by logic and self-interest. I had the opportunity to reflect about the wonders of nature. The harmony of all this diversity is beyond incredible. The shape of a lion's snout, a simple yellow flower regarded as a "weed", the playful and nurturing character of a gorilla, a grassy field with a lone yet grand maple. I'm taken back to my days spent in Owen Sound. It was really a simple life. I was very much like the lone maple amidst a field of strangers. I was alone, inexperienced, and naive. I've been through a lot to get to where I am today, and I think that affords me the desire for simpler days.

After being in the City for a while now, I've been stuck with the mindset that the City, with all its conveniences and diverting aspects, is my preferred location. Now I think I've been prejudiced by the work I do. It's important to live and work by one's principles but I'm afraid I've been blinded by the flashing lights, glitz and glamour. Needless to say, working hard to attain one's goals is regarded as necessary by societal standards, and I believe in hard work and commitment. Although I feel quite certain of the path I wish to take, I can't help but wonder what could be. I'm at these crossroads again.

Strange how much a simple yellow flower or a lone maple tree can make me wonder. It was truly enriching to feel connected to nature again. A spark of hope has restored my confidence and feelings in myself.

random recaps

Le jazz
Jazz tunes wholly fill me up. I love all the different emotions coursing through my body when I'm in a jazz trance. From the slow ballad-like tunes to the upbeat Latin jazz or big band, I always feel so good afterwards. The music evokes certain words to my head, and I wonder if the composer thought of the same words. The pieces with lyrics exude real human experiences, usually love, be it forlorn or content.

Me
I've been feeling a little disconnected from myself. It took a lunch hour big band concert at Nathan Phillips to make me realize that. On my way home from work, I stopped by the stage again, and a great Latin jazz performance brought members of the crowd (mostly older) to their feet. Slightly swaying and toe-tapping, I felt like myself again.

Weekend
I felt restless all weekend (thanks to the G20). I couldn't read my book at my neighbourhood Starbucks (I wish it wasn't a chain). I wasn't able to roam freely around the city without seeing destruction, riot police, and the smell the vinegar. The events of this weekend made me very frustrated. I understand the right to peacefully protest and our freedom of speech in our democratic society. It is a privilege. The acts of vandalism is not a privilege, and it's unfortunate the perpetrators were not brought to justice. I'm just disappointed that the protests and all the arrests took up most of the media space.

Me again
My writing is a bit choppy today. I still haven't recovered from this writer's block. Working in an office really stifles one's creativity. The vocabulary I come across are often planning jargon - designation, provisions, compliance, flood plain, setbacks, permitted uses, etc. I feel as though I'm in this bubble, which is why the lunch hour and after work jazz sessions brought me back to life. Though I'm not writing as fluidly as I would like, I'm learning to write in bits and pieces, from one thought to the next. Maybe I'm expecting too much from myself. Sometimes, the words just have to flow naturally, and often with a caffeinated drink. I'm hoping for some breezy, sunny weather so I can bring myself to a bench under a tree at UT and read and collect my thoughts alone.

eventfully uneventful

I'm not even sure if the title of this post makes sense. I've been keeping myself busy, so life has been eventful in that sense. But even though I'm doing all these activities, life still feels uneventful. I feel like I'm not living comfortably, thanks to the old witch I live with. I've put up with her insanity quite well these last few weeks. It's nearly July and summer will pass, even though I don't want it to.

Living in Toronto the second time around is quite different than the fall term. This time, I know what to expect, and nothing is really shiny and new. I've been meeting some new people and doing some really fun things with them. For instance, Luminato was such a fantastic arts festival. Vancouver doesn't have any events that even parallels to the size and sophistication of Luminato. I also did yoga in the middle of Yonge and Dundas Square with my fellow R. It was really super fun.

My mind's really been quite blank lately. I've tried writing, but to no avail. Perhaps I should be reading more, and reflecting upon my experiences. I'll start chronicling my roommate experiences in the next few posts!